Sheep Are By The Dozen

I don’t do festive blogs. Apart from this time.

Performance notes:

I’ve only done the final ‘verse’ and performance details are left up to the reader because whilst I’m fine lugging 25kg feed sacks around, I can’t carry a tune to save my life.

My personal recommendation is that this should be sung in four part harmony, two parts vodka, one part orange juice, perhaps with a side-order of cheese.

Enjoy.

On the twelfth day of Christmas my livestock gave to me

Twelve ewes escaping

Eleven lice a biting

Ten fleas a jumping

Nine muddy gateways

Eight fences falling

Seven rams a running

Six geese a-honking

Five blank stares

Four fighting cats

Three drenched hens

Two dirty gloves

And a crisis in a far field

Old Man Biskit

Notes:

1: Elsewhere online, and in parts of that real-life thing, I am known as Biskit.

2: I got asked why I blog about the animals on the farm. The short answer: because I enjoy it. The longer answer...

You talking about me?

Old man Biskit had a farm,

Blog it, write it, now.

On that farm he had some cats

Blog it, tell it, now.

With a cat-scratch here

And a furball there,

Here a scratch, there a ball

Everywhere a cat fur

Old man Biskit had a farm,

Blog it, joke it, now.

On that farm he had some sheep

Blog it, show it, now.

With a poop-joke here,

And a ram horn there,

Here a joke, there a ram,

Everywhere a poop-horn

Old man Biskit had a farm,

Blog it, quote it, now.

On that farm he had some geese

Blog it, hype it, now.

With a honk-hiss here,

And a beak-bite there,

Here a honk, there a bite,

Everywhere a beak-hiss

Old man Biskit had a farm,

Blog it, share it, now.

On that farm he had some chickens

Blog it, spread it, now.

With a cock-fight here,

And a cute chick there,

Here a fight, there a chick,

Everywhere a cute-cock

Old man Biskit had a farm...

And now he needs an hour or two to put his feet up.